Scruffy - Gangsta Style

You'll never guess what happened at Windy Hill Park today! Scruffy had an adventure. So Scruffy was tearing after the criminal, nearing warp speed when... Oh, wait, let me back up. Scruffy is a cat. Scruffy is a calico that has a very sweet face, or so I'm told. I've only seen gangsta style Scruffy. This is when Scruffy manages to set aside her sweet natured self and puff out her body in such a way that her fur looks like spikes, and her mouth forms into classic hiss mode. Classic? Maybe not, because classic hiss mode is unsettling, not TERRIFYING. When the teeth come out and her eyes scrunch up into tiny slits, you sink to the ground and beg for mercy. So, earlier today Scruffy went on a hike here:

This part I have to take on an onlooker's word. As I mentioned, I've never seen anything but Gangsta Style Scruffy. She was feeling rather serene, especially when she saw "Testament to the Will of the Poppy". Seriously, it was a photograph with a name before the photograph was even taken. Kind of like when they refer to a human as being a "twinkle in their father's eye" before they were born, you know?

 She ambled along this sun dappled path

 Passed some ordinary looking humans

Marveled at this moss covered tree and decided to stretch luxuriously and curl into a ball for a nap. Great way to spend a Saturday afternoon, don't you think?

Moments after her eyes were closed, she heard something. Her eyelids flew open and Gangsta Style Scruffy emerged. Her whole body tensed, her hair spiked, the hideous, dripping fangs emerged. Scruffy spied the cause of the sound and poised, prepared for the bloody battle that would inevitably ensue. The gigantic lizard, obviously hiding something, was a dangerous criminal and must be stopped from the senseless violence it was about to engage in. Scruffy crouched. Scruffy shifted her weight to her hind legs. Scruffy closed her eyes into nothing more than slits, mentally sharpened her claws. Scruffy SPRANG! She landed a mere centimeter away from the lizard's eye! The lizard darted away and Scruffy gave chase. She dialed up to near warp speed and just when she was about to finish the job, the lizard was gone. She ground to a halt and spun about wildly trying to gain sight or scent of this vicious war lord of the forest. Nothing. Scruffy sat back on her hind legs and lifted a damaged front paw to her mouth. She proceeded to lick the pad where a thorn had nicked it and drawn blood. Scruffy, a failure. A failed warrior. Devastated, she hung her head.

Meanwhile, the lizard - ME - was still running for my life!!! I don't know what the hell got into that cat. I was minding my own business, catching some rays. I think she was suspicious about my tail being hidden? I have to do that, man, the doc told me it was a cancer risk to have the tail exposed for any length of time. I dunno. I'm panting, lungs exploding, heart pounding, is that crazy cat gone? I slow down at this creek.

I hide behind a rock and COLLAPSE.

This lady looks like maybe she ran for her life from Gangsta Cat too. She's too hyper vigilant about watching for the cat and not too concerned about me, so I close my eyes and fall into a stupor, more than a sleep. Phew.

Suddenly Scruffy hurtles through the air and lands on this lady's head - ATTACKING HARD CORE! Just kidding. Lizards have weird dreams sometimes. The lady went home. Scruffy went home. See how I did that? Made you think the story was about the cat, but it wasn't, it was about ME.